Thoughts on Valentine's Day

Ahhh do you smell that? Smells like overpriced chocolate is in the air!  That’s right ladies and gents, it’s February and that means the countdown to Valentine’s Day has begun. Really it’s just another day, BUT with that said it doesn’t excuse you from showing your loved ones you care. Think about the last time you went out of your way to do something for your partner or family. And no, I don’t mean grabbing them toilet paper when they’re in the bathroom and they ran out. I’m talking about giving them a hug, a day off from cooking, treating them to a spa day at home or just calling to say “I love you”.

Having a healthy relationship means that you have to give as much as you take, your partner can’t be the only one giving in the relationship and neither can you. Think about the ways you give and the ways you take in a relationship. What do you do for the other person in your relationship? What do they do for you? Think about your friends and family. What do you do for each other to show you care and love them?

After all of that thinking did you realize you’re not giving enough? If that’s the case then I challenge you to go out and do something for your loved ones. It doesn’t have to be expensive, but it should be meaningful. Think about what the other person likes. Sports? Music? Cars? Once you’ve thought about something they like or need think about how you can get or do something for them related to it. For example, your boyfriend loves cars and you’re an artistic person. You could draw a nice car portrait or carve a car out of wood. Maybe you can’t draw, but you can find a good movie with cool cars to watch together or even write a car themed poem.

But what if after some thinking you realized you’re giving more than you’re getting in a relationship? Is this healthy for you? Does the relationship stress you out? Or worse, make you feel pain (physical or emotional) more often than you feel good? If you’re in an abusive relationship I encourage you to seek help. There are many places you can go to so you don’t have to suffer alone. If you’re not in an abusive relationship, but yours could be better, try communicating how you feel. Don’t attack the other by saying everything they do or don’t do. Just say what emotions you feel and why. For a book on healthy relationships ask the Action Read staff for one called “Living with Healthy Relationships”.

In the end, Valentine’s Day shouldn’t be the only day you show how much you love someone. Valentine’s Day shouldn’t be a day where you feel you need to be in a romantic relationship either. As long as you get rid of unhealthy relationships and nurture every good relationship in your life you will always find love - 365 days of the year!



Action Read Community members Donna and Gerald

By Barbara Baird, Action Read volunteer and summer student 2014